If you are reading this article, then you know the feeling. Or maybe I should say, you know the mixture of feelings.
First, there is probably anger or sadness, or a mixture of the two in a “How could he?” tone of voice.
Then the regret kicks in, followed by the obsessive behavior. There might be little sparks of anger in the midst of these emotions as well.
First of all, it’s okay. This is the grieving process.
And you might think, “Grieving process?
The “symptoms of a breakup,” are usually all the same.
You check your phone constantly for any communication from him.
You stalk their social media.
You text them long chunks of overly emotional texts when they don’t text you.
You post very bitter and emotional quotes on your social media that everyone knows is directed toward your ex.
If you ex does respond to you, you lose your cool and a fight ensues.
I could go on, because there are so many more.
But there’s something I came to realize after writing the book for Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. There is a delicate balance of three factors that work together that should help you get your ex back.
What are they you ask? Scarcity, Urgency, and Investment.
So if you’re already in No Contact, you’re already practicing the basics of Scarcity.
So you’re in No Contact, and you let’s say you get into fitness. “When in doubt, work it out,” Right? While at the gym, let’s say you meet a guy, and he asks you out. And you go out, because, let’s be honest, it’s a dinner date, not marriage.
So you post this on social media; The date, the food, the gym pics. Oh, and the next day, you just happen to get that big promotion you were working towards. You look amazing, you feel amazing and it shows. And trust me, it’s not just friends and family who are finding this out on your social media. But guess who can’t talk to you about it?
What scarcity boils down to is, there is only one of you, and you just came back on the market. Your ex knows this, and no matter what the reason was for the breakup, he no longer has access to you.
Now, take what you’ve observed about yourself after the breakup. The anxiety, the obsessiveness kicks in and it makes you crazy. Why? Because you no longer have access to something you’re used to having access to, and you probably had no say in the matter.
He may not show it, but he’s processing these same feelings, but most likely at different times and in different ways than you. But trust me, it happens. Now imagine all those thoughts he’s having when he sees you dating other guys. Not only that but now he’s thinking about texting you to see how you are doing, (even though, let’s be honest, he knows what you’re doing). But what happens when he tries to get in touch with you? He just can’t seem to get a hold of you.
Have they moved on? Who have they moved on with? What have I done?
Even if he’s the stubborn guy, that makes no effort to get in touch with you, he’s still curious about you and your every day life. Especially if he’s seeing it on your feeds.
So what happens when you do contact him again? What happens when you build rapport, and he sees that you are this cool, calm, collected, and very accomplished person? What do you think goes through his head? All kinds of thoughts.