Getting hitched can be quite overwhelming. While finding true love is an awesome experience, there are so many things to consider, besides the actual wedding of course.
Marriages are all really different; you pretty much make your own rules to suit each other’s needs and expectations. Different strokes for different folks! Some partners won’t tolerate their other half keeping close friendships with the opposite sex, while others would rather have separate bedrooms. If you talk about it, lay out the dos and don’ts before the wedding bells, then you’ll be well equipped when the issue comes up.
So if you’re planning on getting hitched in the near future, here are a few things that are worth discussing with your partner before the D-day:
1. Bank accounts and business
When you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone, you’ve pretty much agreed to merge finances. You share their losses and wins, well in most cases. And if you decided to get a prenuptial agreement, it doesn’t make your spouse’s financial business any less yours. First of all, you need to know exactly what businesses your partner is dealing with; just to avoid finding out anything shocking when you’re married. Finding out if there’s outstanding debt and how much income you both have coming in helps to plan your life because you’ll need to pay future bills, run a functioning house hold and put money aside for savings. Finally, it’s important to ask “are we having separate, joint accounts or both?” It is important to be clear on financial matters, as the topic often gets tricky during hard times in the relationship.
2. Career paths
If you’re single, you can wake up one day and decide to become an astronaut. But when you’re in a marriage, you might just have to stick to the plan. It’s really assuring to know that you’re in it together and your plans are in sync so don’t be afraid to ask all the necessary questions to put your mind at ease. You should be asking; what are the long-term goals? Is this job sustainable for us? Essentially you should be clear on both paths so you can support each other in attaining career goals, and have a future plan for your family.
3. Family planning
When it comes to building a family, the lives of the parents aren’t the only thing to be considered. While babies sometimes creep up on you when you don’t plan for them, it’s best to be realistic, these are economically challenging times and you need money to build a family. You also need to consider your lifestyles and the size of your living space, be honest with how much you can take on. Other possible questions include what happens if one partner is infertile, are you open to fertility treatments or adoption? When is the right time to have children?
Most people think being in a marriage automatically means that having sex with a third party is no longer an option. Well, not really because you can set the rules in your marriage. Can you be committed to sleeping with one person for the rest of your life? Would you consider an open marriage? What does infidelity mean to you? As awkward as it may sound, to each his own, the aim is to understand fully what you’re getting yourself into.